Well, here's just a short update of my O-Levels. I don't have time to write a complete essay about it until next week, so here's what happened the past few days. I finished my English Paper and Mathematics Paper. It's not entirely a milk run for English, which I expected myself to do better. Mathematics Paper was fairly easy, but still, I've made quite a number of careless mistakes and I'm rather demoralised that people did a lot better. My nemesis, Additional Mathematics Paper is is just tomorrow and I have to really start my revision for it in order to at least secure an adequate grade. Tomorrow onwards will be a very busy week for me as Additional Math, Chemistry, Physics, Geography and Social Studies are in it. 4 of my very weak subjects just came rushing at me at the same time. God bless me.
Countdown to the end of O-Levels: Less than 16 days.
Utakata Hanabi
Sasuke x Sakura
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Recall
"Do your best."
This is it. The O-Levels is gonna start today. Just a few hours later, I'll be sitting in my school hall and taking my English paper. Surprisingly, I seem very chilled now. Not much anxiety or fear. That's how I always look on the outside. But deep inside, I'm fighting inner battles.
I recall three years ago, after me and my parents went to my school for Meet-The-Parents Session and to collect my report book for my Secondary One year, we took the train back home together. While on the train, I met this man. I cannot totally remember how he looks like and in my memory, he looks about 50-60 years old (he's not a frail old man) He came forward and asked me whether I'm from Presbyterian High School, from the looks of my PE shirt. I answered "Yes." He then told me about his son which is from the same school as well, and who already graduated from university and became a lawyer (if I remembered correctly). He encouraged me to do my best in my studies. We are total strangers, yet I like I've known him. As me and my parents listened attentively, I got this feeling that this person is God-sent. That perhaps he's an angel in disguise, sending God's word to me. I told myself that one day I will need this encouragement and I will always remember this encounter. That day is today.
I recall on another occasion two years ago, during my dad's company's annual dinner night, my family was invited (so it's me and my parents). Then before the event commences, All of us were to wait at the lounge. At the lounge then was my dad's company's employees and their families. As I walked around with my dad, he introduced me to one of his colleagues. His colleague was really friendly and talked about me and my studies. He told me that my parents are working very hard to support the family and me and encouraged me to work hard and do well for my studies to secure a bright future and to support my parents. After that, I shook his hand firmly. "Don't worry, I will."
I recall a lot of things. All the messages from my friends, the farewell letters written by my classmates, the motivation and encouragement from my family and friends... All will serve their purpose. All the best to my friends and classmates. One shot, let's make it count. This is it. It's time to roll.
Countdown to the start of O-Levels: 3 hours and 30 Minutes.
Countdown to the end of O-Levels: Less than 20 days.
This is it. The O-Levels is gonna start today. Just a few hours later, I'll be sitting in my school hall and taking my English paper. Surprisingly, I seem very chilled now. Not much anxiety or fear. That's how I always look on the outside. But deep inside, I'm fighting inner battles.
I recall three years ago, after me and my parents went to my school for Meet-The-Parents Session and to collect my report book for my Secondary One year, we took the train back home together. While on the train, I met this man. I cannot totally remember how he looks like and in my memory, he looks about 50-60 years old (he's not a frail old man) He came forward and asked me whether I'm from Presbyterian High School, from the looks of my PE shirt. I answered "Yes." He then told me about his son which is from the same school as well, and who already graduated from university and became a lawyer (if I remembered correctly). He encouraged me to do my best in my studies. We are total strangers, yet I like I've known him. As me and my parents listened attentively, I got this feeling that this person is God-sent. That perhaps he's an angel in disguise, sending God's word to me. I told myself that one day I will need this encouragement and I will always remember this encounter. That day is today.
I recall on another occasion two years ago, during my dad's company's annual dinner night, my family was invited (so it's me and my parents). Then before the event commences, All of us were to wait at the lounge. At the lounge then was my dad's company's employees and their families. As I walked around with my dad, he introduced me to one of his colleagues. His colleague was really friendly and talked about me and my studies. He told me that my parents are working very hard to support the family and me and encouraged me to work hard and do well for my studies to secure a bright future and to support my parents. After that, I shook his hand firmly. "Don't worry, I will."
I recall a lot of things. All the messages from my friends, the farewell letters written by my classmates, the motivation and encouragement from my family and friends... All will serve their purpose. All the best to my friends and classmates. One shot, let's make it count. This is it. It's time to roll.
Countdown to the start of O-Levels: 3 hours and 30 Minutes.
Countdown to the end of O-Levels: Less than 20 days.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Revision
"I'm not telling you it is going to be easy - I'm telling you it is going to be worth it." - Arthur T.Williams
I've just finished up yet another failed attempt to revise my subjects for the upcoming O-Levels. I haven't been able to fully concentrate and focus on the task at hand during this period of time. There're too much distractions. Or maybe I'm just easily distracted. I'm sure quite a number of people have this problem too. Motivation isn't enough to make me study hard. I know I have to study and get all the stuff into my head and make it stick for at least three weeks. However, I just fade away from my study table and let my mind wander around all the time. Yes, I'm even doing it now by writing this post. It's yet another escape from my revision. Since the previous week, I've realised that I'm very weak at certain subjects. I know so little about them. There's just no way for me to catch up now. All I can do, is to try to cram everything in my head and pray that I absorbed and memorised the concepts. I'm getting serious but things just don't go my way huh?
Anyways, on last Thursday, I've discovered that a lot of my friends are using tumblr. I've visited a few of their websites and seen the usefulness and appeal of tumblr. So maybe I should switch to using tumblr instead? But I can't abandon this blog, can I? So I've decide to continue posting here. Oh yes, speaking of my blog, I've realised that this blog has been discovered by my friends! A few close friends is fine but it's not just a few. I unknowingly placed it in my twitter profile, hoping to get the twitter feed here, and my followers (which are mostly my friends) can see it and that's how they made it here. Oh gosh...
Countdown to the start of O-Levels: Less than 2 days.
Countdown to the end of O-Levels: Less than 22 days.
That means approximately 20 days of torture.
Wish me luck.
I've just finished up yet another failed attempt to revise my subjects for the upcoming O-Levels. I haven't been able to fully concentrate and focus on the task at hand during this period of time. There're too much distractions. Or maybe I'm just easily distracted. I'm sure quite a number of people have this problem too. Motivation isn't enough to make me study hard. I know I have to study and get all the stuff into my head and make it stick for at least three weeks. However, I just fade away from my study table and let my mind wander around all the time. Yes, I'm even doing it now by writing this post. It's yet another escape from my revision. Since the previous week, I've realised that I'm very weak at certain subjects. I know so little about them. There's just no way for me to catch up now. All I can do, is to try to cram everything in my head and pray that I absorbed and memorised the concepts. I'm getting serious but things just don't go my way huh?
Anyways, on last Thursday, I've discovered that a lot of my friends are using tumblr. I've visited a few of their websites and seen the usefulness and appeal of tumblr. So maybe I should switch to using tumblr instead? But I can't abandon this blog, can I? So I've decide to continue posting here. Oh yes, speaking of my blog, I've realised that this blog has been discovered by my friends! A few close friends is fine but it's not just a few. I unknowingly placed it in my twitter profile, hoping to get the twitter feed here, and my followers (which are mostly my friends) can see it and that's how they made it here. Oh gosh...
Countdown to the start of O-Levels: Less than 2 days.
Countdown to the end of O-Levels: Less than 22 days.
That means approximately 20 days of torture.
Wish me luck.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Responsibility
You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today. - Abraham Lincoln
5 more days to the start of O-Levels. That's just great. I don't even feel prepared yet. Yet instead of revising, I'm actually writing another post. I think that this is gonna be my second or third last post until the end of O-Levels, unless there're certain incidents that may happen during this period. Seriously, I can't wait for the O-Levels to end. It's like 25 days away. It's so close yet so far... Feels like I can grasp it already but there's a huge obstacle standing in my way...
Anyway, if you guys did watch the news (I don't know whether it's broadcasted to other countries), you should probably know about what happened in China. A young girl got ran over by a van. And you know what? That driver totally ignored her. He just drove off. After the incident, as the girl is left lying there, at least 18 people walked past her and didn't help her. They just plainly walked off, ignoring her. I mean, how could you just walk off when you see a young child lying on the road, bleeding profusely and who obviously needed help?? They didn't care although they noticed her. A woman even picked the girl up and tossed her to the side of the road like trash. To add on, another truck came later and ran over her as well. Nobody came forward and tried to help. Calling an ambulance, getting her out of there... Practically, the girl is left for dead until a rubbish collector discovered her and shouted for help which several shopkeepers ignored her. He then finally tracked down the girl's mother who then rushed her to the hospital. I think the words are "Cruel and Unfeeling". Wait, that's an understatement. It's inhumane. These people... I wonder how can they sleep at night without feeling any guilt and remorse.
News just reported that the girl is alive and but not out of danger. Her parents are really sad and depressed that this horrible incident happened and they are really worried for their daughter's life. Also, the driver did not want to be imprisoned so he continue to escape from the police. Who wants to be imprisoned? But you have just ran over a little girl and drove off. You did not stop immediately and call an ambulance. It's a hit-and-run! It's just plain sick. That driver just shrank from his responsibility, so did those who ignored the girl.
5 more days to the start of O-Levels. That's just great. I don't even feel prepared yet. Yet instead of revising, I'm actually writing another post. I think that this is gonna be my second or third last post until the end of O-Levels, unless there're certain incidents that may happen during this period. Seriously, I can't wait for the O-Levels to end. It's like 25 days away. It's so close yet so far... Feels like I can grasp it already but there's a huge obstacle standing in my way...
Anyway, if you guys did watch the news (I don't know whether it's broadcasted to other countries), you should probably know about what happened in China. A young girl got ran over by a van. And you know what? That driver totally ignored her. He just drove off. After the incident, as the girl is left lying there, at least 18 people walked past her and didn't help her. They just plainly walked off, ignoring her. I mean, how could you just walk off when you see a young child lying on the road, bleeding profusely and who obviously needed help?? They didn't care although they noticed her. A woman even picked the girl up and tossed her to the side of the road like trash. To add on, another truck came later and ran over her as well. Nobody came forward and tried to help. Calling an ambulance, getting her out of there... Practically, the girl is left for dead until a rubbish collector discovered her and shouted for help which several shopkeepers ignored her. He then finally tracked down the girl's mother who then rushed her to the hospital. I think the words are "Cruel and Unfeeling". Wait, that's an understatement. It's inhumane. These people... I wonder how can they sleep at night without feeling any guilt and remorse.
News just reported that the girl is alive and but not out of danger. Her parents are really sad and depressed that this horrible incident happened and they are really worried for their daughter's life. Also, the driver did not want to be imprisoned so he continue to escape from the police. Who wants to be imprisoned? But you have just ran over a little girl and drove off. You did not stop immediately and call an ambulance. It's a hit-and-run! It's just plain sick. That driver just shrank from his responsibility, so did those who ignored the girl.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Reveal
I hate to lose more than I love to win - Jimmy Connors
I'll try my best to continue to post as much as I can during this period of time when I should be revising. So don't blame me if this blog appears dead for about 3 weeks.
Anyways, in this post I'll reveal something about myself. To those who know me well, or those who think they know me, they will probably know about this particular trait I possess. Of course, the quote on top says it all: I hate losing. Yes, I hate losing more than I love to win. Although I must justify something about this aspect of myself. If I ever lose a team soccer game which I'm fairly poor at playing, I won't dislike the fact that I lost unless the other guy taunted me or my team, and stood there gloating and bragging. If I had fun playing in any game or sport and there's sportsmanship on both sides, why would I be unhappy about it even if I lose in the process. It could even be something that I'm good at, but so long I'm having fun, and everybody else is having fun, we're laughing and enjoying ourselves, there's no reason for me to be unhappy.
However, sometimes I really hate it when I lose. Especially to someone who does not deserve to win. If you guys had read deeper into my blog, you would know about the previous Basketball incidents. Yes, the post's titled "Respect". That's one example. The other one is when I'm put into a disadvantaged situation against someone and I obviously lost, and the opponent(s) thinks that I'm actually lousy when I could've defeated them easily if we played fair and square. Like maybe I'm thrown into a team that has little knowledge and skill to play a game against the obviously stronger team who will eventually win. That's another example of my reasons for hating to lose. I hate to lose when I could have won, and when I should have won. Some people really need to shut up, and thrashing them is a way of shutting them up, don't you think so?
Sometimes I'm afraid of losing instead of hating to lose. I'm not bragging but I'm (probably) one of the best Chinese Chess player of my age and I'm afraid that if I have made a critical and silly mistake in the process and resulted in me losing, I'll lose my reputation of being the "Best", or it will give an golden opportunity of my opponent to gloat, brag and sing of their single victory against me (coz' by then I would've a record of 20+Wins to 1 Loss against that guy). It's been very long since I've played Chinese Chess, and I am certain that my reaction, observation and anticipation skills all have 'rusted' after all this time. Perhaps I should start to play again when the O's are over? Yes, this is the pressure of being at the top of the mountain when challengers just keep threatening your 'throne'.
I certainly hate people thinking that they are better than me when actually it's the other way round. Sometimes I just wanna say, "Please, you'll never catch up to me. Don't act like you did." In Basketball, I'm not anywhere near 'good' in the sport I admit, but there are a lot more people in my school who play worse than me, and yet they thought that they are better than me. I'm not a scorer, I'm a playmaker. I dish out assists and acts as the floor general, and I only take the shot or lay-up when necessary. And Basketball is only a hobby although I'm so passionate about it. I'm not thinking of advancing to professional or anything. All I wanted was to have fun with my friends and improve myself to a certain extent. Nothing more. But there're those people who make me hate losing to them. In normal cases, I don't even feel anything bad about losing, but these people make me wanna just thrash them and leave it. It could be a Basketball match, a console game, or even comparing scores in examinations. Winners should act like winners. Or else, why should they deserve to win?
Everyone says, "I don't want to lose." Magic and Larry Said, "I'll kill you if I lose." - 'When the Game is ours' by Jackie MacMullen
I'll try my best to continue to post as much as I can during this period of time when I should be revising. So don't blame me if this blog appears dead for about 3 weeks.
Anyways, in this post I'll reveal something about myself. To those who know me well, or those who think they know me, they will probably know about this particular trait I possess. Of course, the quote on top says it all: I hate losing. Yes, I hate losing more than I love to win. Although I must justify something about this aspect of myself. If I ever lose a team soccer game which I'm fairly poor at playing, I won't dislike the fact that I lost unless the other guy taunted me or my team, and stood there gloating and bragging. If I had fun playing in any game or sport and there's sportsmanship on both sides, why would I be unhappy about it even if I lose in the process. It could even be something that I'm good at, but so long I'm having fun, and everybody else is having fun, we're laughing and enjoying ourselves, there's no reason for me to be unhappy.
However, sometimes I really hate it when I lose. Especially to someone who does not deserve to win. If you guys had read deeper into my blog, you would know about the previous Basketball incidents. Yes, the post's titled "Respect". That's one example. The other one is when I'm put into a disadvantaged situation against someone and I obviously lost, and the opponent(s) thinks that I'm actually lousy when I could've defeated them easily if we played fair and square. Like maybe I'm thrown into a team that has little knowledge and skill to play a game against the obviously stronger team who will eventually win. That's another example of my reasons for hating to lose. I hate to lose when I could have won, and when I should have won. Some people really need to shut up, and thrashing them is a way of shutting them up, don't you think so?
Sometimes I'm afraid of losing instead of hating to lose. I'm not bragging but I'm (probably) one of the best Chinese Chess player of my age and I'm afraid that if I have made a critical and silly mistake in the process and resulted in me losing, I'll lose my reputation of being the "Best", or it will give an golden opportunity of my opponent to gloat, brag and sing of their single victory against me (coz' by then I would've a record of 20+Wins to 1 Loss against that guy). It's been very long since I've played Chinese Chess, and I am certain that my reaction, observation and anticipation skills all have 'rusted' after all this time. Perhaps I should start to play again when the O's are over? Yes, this is the pressure of being at the top of the mountain when challengers just keep threatening your 'throne'.
I certainly hate people thinking that they are better than me when actually it's the other way round. Sometimes I just wanna say, "Please, you'll never catch up to me. Don't act like you did." In Basketball, I'm not anywhere near 'good' in the sport I admit, but there are a lot more people in my school who play worse than me, and yet they thought that they are better than me. I'm not a scorer, I'm a playmaker. I dish out assists and acts as the floor general, and I only take the shot or lay-up when necessary. And Basketball is only a hobby although I'm so passionate about it. I'm not thinking of advancing to professional or anything. All I wanted was to have fun with my friends and improve myself to a certain extent. Nothing more. But there're those people who make me hate losing to them. In normal cases, I don't even feel anything bad about losing, but these people make me wanna just thrash them and leave it. It could be a Basketball match, a console game, or even comparing scores in examinations. Winners should act like winners. Or else, why should they deserve to win?
Everyone says, "I don't want to lose." Magic and Larry Said, "I'll kill you if I lose." - 'When the Game is ours' by Jackie MacMullen
Monday, October 10, 2011
Rebut
It all depends upon where the observer is standing. - Leto
This post is probably gonna be one of my last posts (or just the last post) till the O-Levels finish. The O-Levels are only 2 weeks away. 14 days. I really need the time to focus on my revision and finally be able to score high or more than adequate for my weaker subjects as well as my stronger subjects. I will need to go through consultations with my teachers to build on my weak topics and so on. I really need to score As or high B grades in order to secure my place in the Junior College of my choice. I'm probably aiming for Anglo-Chinese Junior College for its Humanities Scholarship, but I'll need to meet a criteria for about 7/8 points. It's not gonna be anywhere near easy for me. So I'm gonna apologise if my blog is found rather dead during this period of time as I need the time which is quickly running out.
Back to the topic, me and my friend decided to meet on yesterday (it happened yesterday, but I am writing it today) to find clothes for our Graduation Night. Yes, formal clothes. I've already bought the shirt and the pants, only missing a blazer or a vest, while my friend wanted to buy everything besides pants which he already have at home. I asked my dad whether if I could join him on yesterday (I know this sounds weird), but he was unhappy about me running off with my friend to go out and "play"/"Have fun" when my family is supposed to visit my grandmother. My family has a routine of visiting my grandmother on alternate Sundays, in which yesterday was the Sunday we're supposed to go. I've gotta face my dad's unhappiness. I mean, why should I always join you to visit grandmother? I can spend my time doing something more productive, like perhaps looking for clothes, enjoying myself or revising for my exams. Definitely not going to my grandmother's house, take a look at my grandmother and my relatives and stone there for hours doing absolutely nothing. Counting the days I've been a baby, a toddler, a kid then a teenager, how many Sundays have I missed out because of this ridiculous routine? Of course, visiting my grandmother is being filial, and we should do it. But just taking a few Sundays out wouldn't hurt and I only did ask for a few times to let me off.
Another thing is about the blazer I have found in the search of clothes (my dad allowed me to go in the end). Is a SGD $79.90 considered costly for a blazer? There are a lot more expensive ones. I've found the cheapest which suits me fine in terms of colour and material. As I dialled my dad to confirm buying that blazer, he's like "So expensive? You only will use it once or twice." And I can hear the "It's a waste of money" tone in his comment. Come on, the price is the cheapest. Everybody is fine with that price. Most people are buying more expensive ones without much consideration. Why? Coz' it's a once-in-a-lifetime event. There's not gonna be another secondary school graduation night. We are not very likely to meet up as often as we do with our friends and classmates now. It's for our best memories. We sure have to look our finest, don't we? And also, buying formal clothes obviously need more money. The price is considered reasonable, and I'm not asking for more. My parents really have to change their mindset. I'd bet they thought I'm a spoilt brat thinking that money is easily earned, not understanding their pain, and spending unnecessary. I didn't ask for much. I probably have one of the least luxuries among my classmates. I DO understand their efforts to earn money and I'm saving for them also. I CHOSE not to spend unnecessarily. But there are things that I have to spend a little more for. Like memories, like once-in-a-lifetime events.
If you say "It's a waste of money. You are only wearing it for a few hours? One or two times? It's unnecessary."
I will rebut "If you are down with some illness and need, let's say, a liver transplant in order to continue living for maybe a few months? A year? Two if lucky? And I'll need to spend tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars for the surgery just to see a old man or woman live for mere one or two years at most, how do you think I'd feel? Unnecessary, a definite waste of money IF I'm looking from the same viewpoint as you now. Maybe I'd just let you die?"
But if I look at it a different way, like I'm saving a person who's dear to me. Letting him/her live for another one or two more years. Exchanging money for life. Now, is that worth it?
This post is probably gonna be one of my last posts (or just the last post) till the O-Levels finish. The O-Levels are only 2 weeks away. 14 days. I really need the time to focus on my revision and finally be able to score high or more than adequate for my weaker subjects as well as my stronger subjects. I will need to go through consultations with my teachers to build on my weak topics and so on. I really need to score As or high B grades in order to secure my place in the Junior College of my choice. I'm probably aiming for Anglo-Chinese Junior College for its Humanities Scholarship, but I'll need to meet a criteria for about 7/8 points. It's not gonna be anywhere near easy for me. So I'm gonna apologise if my blog is found rather dead during this period of time as I need the time which is quickly running out.
Back to the topic, me and my friend decided to meet on yesterday (it happened yesterday, but I am writing it today) to find clothes for our Graduation Night. Yes, formal clothes. I've already bought the shirt and the pants, only missing a blazer or a vest, while my friend wanted to buy everything besides pants which he already have at home. I asked my dad whether if I could join him on yesterday (I know this sounds weird), but he was unhappy about me running off with my friend to go out and "play"/"Have fun" when my family is supposed to visit my grandmother. My family has a routine of visiting my grandmother on alternate Sundays, in which yesterday was the Sunday we're supposed to go. I've gotta face my dad's unhappiness. I mean, why should I always join you to visit grandmother? I can spend my time doing something more productive, like perhaps looking for clothes, enjoying myself or revising for my exams. Definitely not going to my grandmother's house, take a look at my grandmother and my relatives and stone there for hours doing absolutely nothing. Counting the days I've been a baby, a toddler, a kid then a teenager, how many Sundays have I missed out because of this ridiculous routine? Of course, visiting my grandmother is being filial, and we should do it. But just taking a few Sundays out wouldn't hurt and I only did ask for a few times to let me off.
Another thing is about the blazer I have found in the search of clothes (my dad allowed me to go in the end). Is a SGD $79.90 considered costly for a blazer? There are a lot more expensive ones. I've found the cheapest which suits me fine in terms of colour and material. As I dialled my dad to confirm buying that blazer, he's like "So expensive? You only will use it once or twice." And I can hear the "It's a waste of money" tone in his comment. Come on, the price is the cheapest. Everybody is fine with that price. Most people are buying more expensive ones without much consideration. Why? Coz' it's a once-in-a-lifetime event. There's not gonna be another secondary school graduation night. We are not very likely to meet up as often as we do with our friends and classmates now. It's for our best memories. We sure have to look our finest, don't we? And also, buying formal clothes obviously need more money. The price is considered reasonable, and I'm not asking for more. My parents really have to change their mindset. I'd bet they thought I'm a spoilt brat thinking that money is easily earned, not understanding their pain, and spending unnecessary. I didn't ask for much. I probably have one of the least luxuries among my classmates. I DO understand their efforts to earn money and I'm saving for them also. I CHOSE not to spend unnecessarily. But there are things that I have to spend a little more for. Like memories, like once-in-a-lifetime events.
If you say "It's a waste of money. You are only wearing it for a few hours? One or two times? It's unnecessary."
I will rebut "If you are down with some illness and need, let's say, a liver transplant in order to continue living for maybe a few months? A year? Two if lucky? And I'll need to spend tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars for the surgery just to see a old man or woman live for mere one or two years at most, how do you think I'd feel? Unnecessary, a definite waste of money IF I'm looking from the same viewpoint as you now. Maybe I'd just let you die?"
But if I look at it a different way, like I'm saving a person who's dear to me. Letting him/her live for another one or two more years. Exchanging money for life. Now, is that worth it?
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