Reminder (Part 2)

You do not take from this universe. It grants you what it will. - Paul Muad'dib

This is continued from the previous post "Reminder" below.
Speaking of reminders, my good friend has got deeply reminded of his seemingly foolish decision he made by a coincidental meeting with the girl he likes. Today. Yes, the same day of the event I wrote about in my previous post "Reminder". Well, actually it took place about a couple of hours before the event I wrote about in "Reminder". He actually didn't notice her at first, when he, two more buddies and me, took the escalator up, and I spotted a very familiar person whom I immediately suspected was her with her friends, taking the escalator down. It was a dramatic cross of paths, as we took the escalator up, and they took the escalator down, just right next to each other. No words were exchanged, simply because she perhaps didn't recognise or see me (she seems to look towards me when I saw her, which I quickly turned away my gaze to avoid the awkardness) or she didn't care to acknowledge me (She and I were primary school classmates too, but not very close), or the same reasons I mention above for my good buddy (whom she may be really looking at since they were closer, and secondary school schoolmates).
My buddy still didn't notice her (or at least I thought so), till we got off the escalator and I remarked "I think I've just saw someone familiar." He immediately looked down the escalator. My two other friends didn't get it coz' they don't know her. But my buddy saw and knew it was her. After that, he acted normal for a while and after we had dinner, he began to keep to himself, stayed very quiet and his mind seems to be drifting away. The rest of us can easily see that he has a problem. I'm the only one that knew, coz' he'd only told me among the rest of us. It was really hard for him, to be reminded of her, reminded of his terrible, foolish mistake that had led to undesirable consequences, reminded of his feelings for her which he tried to forget. The jewellery shop, her physical being, that constant avoiding, would make a constant reminder for his shattered love-life. I hope that he will not fall easily.

Reminder

You do not take from this universe. It grants you what it will. - Paul Muad'dib

It is proven. It has been proven every single time I'd asked for it. Something is "controlling" us. Or rather, something is making decisions and arrangements for our actions and movements. It would seem so logical that something will happen. Maybe it's God. Maybe it's some divine power. Maybe it's fate. I don't know, and I am not trying to be religious here so I would not elaborate further. But it is just so obvious. I can't help but think that our lives are actually planned out.
Almost every year after graduating from primary school, we would meet each other at this period of time by coincidence. The Teacher's Day period. I still remember the times I've met you. All the times I've met you were at one particular place. Causeway Point/Civic Centre. Every single time. It really was unexpected most of the times. Today, this year, I've met you again. I was pulling the glass door to exit from McDonald's and I looked down at a person sitting down directly in front of me, who smiled at me. "You look so familiar" was my first thought. Then I quickly realised who I'm looking at. It's a very shocking yet precious moment for me. I gave a sign of acknowledgement, smiled back and strolled away. I then turned back and waved goodbye. In my mind then was "OH MY GOD, I saw her". My buddies who were beside me didn't even notice her at first until I said "Guys, turn back."
I'm still a little confused now, but I'm quite positive that it was meant to be like that. This period of time and the unexpected "bumping into each other" events serve as a constant reminder of my feelings. Every single time I bumped into you, I am reminded of the feelings I have for you. However, it still seem that only a miracle will allow "IT" to happen. But, as always, I believe in miracles.

Results (Part 1)

My nights are going sleepless, my days are going useless. So I asked GOD, “is this love?”. GOD replied, “No dear, results is near”. - Random Tweets

I've got my Chinese O-Level Results today. In the morning, I started having anxiety attacks already. As the minute-hand ticked by and getting closer to 10:50am (when we are supposed to proceed to the hall and collect our results), I was already shivering a little. 15 minutes to 10:50am, I'm feverish. I am really stressed up coz' I am the top in Chinese in my school and everybody expects me to get an A1 grade for the subject. Also, I needed this subject to put into my L1R5 points to go on to post-secondary education. I admit I'm giving myself too much pressure and expectations, but who wouldn't? On the day of the Chinese O-Levels Exam, I received a really special "Good Luck" message of a certain someone and it really made me feel obliged to score an A1.
Then the time came. My heartbeat was seriously fast. I knew that today and the day early next year when we collect our overall O-Level Results, that I will be really anxious. But, it's not what I've imagined. It feels a lot worse. Then my name was called, and I strode to the table where the teacher shows me my score. XXXXX (1) (D). The teacher explained the number and alphabet to me, but I already got the idea. A1 and Distinction for Oral Examination. I did it!!
However, to my utter dismay, there're others who I expected to do well and they did not capitalize. Even so, on the average, we all did quite well. It was sad to see my friends shed tears, looking so down and dispirited and as a couple of them called their parents to inform them of their "below expectations" results, I could only just stand by and listen, perhaps encouraging them to strive if they decide to retake the examination in November. Everytime people gather together to collect exam results, especially graduation results, there will always be people who are pleased and satisfied with their results, people who feel disappointed and people who just keep ranting about something that caused them to do badly. The next time, I will post part 2. That's when I collect my overall O-Levels Results. But right now, I should be studying for it and the prelims up ahead.

Repugnance

"I bet it sucks to be you right now."

Well, it's been more than a week since I last posted. A lot of things happened in this period of time. Some are unpleasant, as always. I wanted to post about them but time and fatigue didn't allow me to do so. Anyways, I've had my O-Level English Oral Examinations today. It was reasonably simple, but I didn't capitalised on it. I stuttered a little, didn't make clear expressions and explanations, took 7 seconds to think of something. What's done is done, gotta look forward. The prelims are around the corner. Well, it's next week. Guess I gotta start my revision or else it's too late...

I certainly hate cheaters. Cheaters in the sense that they would do anything in order to win. Or maybe to fulfill their desires. Cheating in games are strictly disallowed, coz' it ain't fair to the other players. Yes, it is not fair. But the kind of cheaters I am zooming into, is the relationship cheaters. Two-Timers, Womanizers, Casanovas... Call them whatever you want. They are cheaters. In this teenage era, there are a lot of cases similar to these. Couples break up, and the one who got cheated of his/her love gets hurt most. One such case would be that a person originally don't love a person, but he/she accepted the other's confession and became a couple just for his/her entertainment. And when there's no more chemistry, or they are no longer in good terms, they just break up. The other person who truly has feelings for him/her gets hurt, coz' he/her is not even serious about this relationship. "It's just for fun". Why go into a relationship in the first place when you are not even serious about it? "It's just for fun"??? Another example would be the two-timers. I suppose it's self-explanatory. It's never right.
Sometimes I wonder whether I am a prophet (well as in a descriptive noun only, I mean nothing else), coz' things I predicted often come true. I don't mean things like the scores of a soccer match, the digits of the lottery etc. I mean things that gotta do with my life and people around me. There's this friend of mine who recently broke up with her boyfriend. He three-timed. Now that's a BIG cheater. Before they broke up, he did something really despicable. He took a wallet of another friend and acted like he knew nothing about it. He was caught in the end. From then onwards, I predicted that my friend and him won't last long. Coz' he's a.... I don't wanna say the word. I knew that he was not a good guy but those things he did made everyone, including his best friends, despise and disacknowledged him. He was shunned by the entire cohort. After he was found three-timing, I knew. It's over. He deserved every bit of it. I really pity him sometimes. I wonder whether he have realised his mistakes and changed himself.

"You said she is the best thing you ever had, but now it seems that the song is talking about you. She is the best thing you never had."

Retaliate

Try looking into that place where you dare not look! You'll find me there, staring out at you! - Paul-Muad'dib

Sorry for being unable to post anything during this period of time. The ZhuHai people left last week. Arrive on Sunday, Depart on Saturday. What a joke. We've had good times, and I certainly hope that we could meet again soon. Also, I've gotten back my Common Test results. It was only average, or maybe a little below average. Whatever you call it, it's a wake-up call for me.
Heard about a famous quote that goes "Even a mouse would bite a cat when cornered"? Seriously, when all the bullies, the baddies and those people who just won't give in, are ever gonna stop pushing someone to their limits? When these people retaliate, you will regret your actions. They may appear "small", "insignificant", "weak", and "will not deal much damage", "small fries" or just plain inferior. But when you push them all the way, someday they will push back. Hard, without holding back. I dislike people who is in the wrong, yet strongly insists that they are right, to the extent that they defend themselves by calling the other one wrong. Especially seniors. Especially parents. Some parents see their own children like children and not a thinking individual. In fact, most parents see it that way. I have had a heated argument with my mother. I've asked her for a shoe box to place my basketball shoes so that I could bring it out to play Basketball at another place. I did want to risk wearing my basketball shoes and walking it all the way to my destination, in case it would loosen the grip. Then my mother just insisted that it was because of the pair of shoes being too small for my foot and that I did not want to wear it because it would hurt (which is utter bullshit). She directly and indirectly blamed me for buying the shoes "recklessly" without checking the size (which I did). This was not the first time. This is not even the tenth time. As far as I could remember, she has this "size" problem since I was Primary One. Clothes, shoes, accessories, belts, jeans etc. Everything she buys, she buys at least a size number bigger than what fits me. There's a occasion when she bought me a 36 size school pants. I almost slapped her for that utter humiliation for wearing that big pants to school. I seriously am furious about this. I think "furious" is an understatement. This time, I've totally lost it. No longer am I gonna just keep quiet about this. She has to realise that I am no pushover. I am not just a kid. I am an individual. We quarrelled. But only I am making sense. She was trying to force logic into her illogical words. Yet, she claimed she was right, and she was 'teaching' me. There, she was victorious. Only because I am kind and stop arguing back. I completely hate this kind of people. "Try looking into the place where you dare not look! Try looking into the future. You'll find me there, staring out at you! At that moment, you will wish that you had never done me wrong like you did now. You will regret. You will beg. By then, even I'm not sure whether I will forgive you, or just take my revenge which I have so desired since young." This is for you, mother. I will retaliate.

Reunion

"If you did not experience the pain and sadness of leaving someone, you will not experience the joy and relief of seeing each other again."

Remember what I've wrote on 'Spooky Feed #30"(one of my previous posts)? They are here again. Finally, after waiting for about 8 months, they have arrived? The ZhuHai group had arrived in Singapore two days ago. As most of us went to fetch them from their flight and finally meeting them for the 1st time in 8 months, we were excited. When we rushed all the way to the terminal and eagerly waiting for their arrival, we all were thinking whether they have changed, whether they recall how we all looked like, whether they remembered the days when we were hanging out together back in ZhuHai in our exchange trip there, what should we say when we meet them... When we caught the glimpse of their trademark school sweater-uniform, blue and white, we all knew. They have finally arrived. When they passed the custom examination, got their luggages and walking towards the exit, where we all were waiting, all hearts leaped. The moment we've all been waiting for. There we go, all the hugs, the smiles, the usual chats, "I miss you" talks and more. People from both sides have already taken out their cameras and snapping photos everywhere with their buddies. My buddy and I have each other a hug and began chatting about the nostalgic stuff and so on. We have finally reunited, even if it's only for a short while. They have came to our school for their turn in the exchange trip, and the Secondary 3s are hosting them. We have all promised them to give them an unforgettable experience here in Singapore. But deep inside our hearts, we are all aware. Aware of the fact that when they leave in 4 days time, we might not be able to have the chance to meet each other again.

Respect

Never take a person's dignity: It's worth everything to them, and nothing to you. - Frank Barron

I've been saving this word from a long time till the right moment to post it as a blog post. This word is very meaningful to me, at the very least, and it is a very powerful word. Respect, like love, can't be measured. Well, there ain't any S.I units for the measurement of Respect. It can't be like, you have "50cm^3 of Respect". Neither can it be, you have "50 tons of Respect". The only way to measure it is to count how many people respect you, maybe for your intelligence, your quick wits, your leadership capability, or your athletic skills for instance. If you're respected by a certain somebody for a certain something, you're respected by that certain somebody for a certain something. It's that simple. However, there's not many people who is in this world who can respect everybody he/she has encountered in his/her life. The respect I'm talking about now is the general respect that every human being at the very least should have. You may hate him/her, love him/her, being not close to him/her, not understanding him/her and so on... But there should be that essential and minimum amount of respect you should have for him/her. A couple of months ago, Three buddies and I were playing Basketball at the basketball court somewhere near to my house. We know we definitely ain't good players, we're not even close. But there's no reason we should be looked down on, humiliated, and thought to be only "small fries" and nothing else. However, a group of guys perhaps one or two years older than us, did the exact same things I've mentioned above. We were just playing, they asked for a match, between us and them, and the match starts. They just ignore our defense, play and trick around us, making us look like clowns, and just spam 3-pointers. They get the rebounds, pass them back out to the 3-point line and continue shooting. They don't even want the easy 2 points. They just shoot 3-pointers. They are obviously better, and we are obviously thrashed. They are not even playing seriously, humiliating us like that. If that happens to you, how will you feel? Today, a similar event happened. It's me together with another three friends (I also don't get why there's always FOUR of us), we were also playing Basketball, and a group of four wearing school basketball team jerseys, wearing official basketball shoes and basketball equipment, all save one guy, came in and asked for a match, obviously picking on us coz' we looked weak in basketball skills (Don't ask me why, coz 'this kind of stuff always happen), and we accepted just for the fun. They begin with one guy who always shoots 3-pointer (he kinda really suck at it, even his teammates acknowledged that), another guy that we know as a very pro player, two others rather unknown. Only the guy who always 3 pointers spam 3 pointers this time, while the others are rather strong. They also ain't playing seriously, until we are quite close to winning, then one guy says "Play seriously now". The first match we lost by 2 points (A basket coz' one basket in meant 2 points), and we eventually won the second match. I mean seriously, why do all these people play like that, fooling around, making beautiful but difficult lay-ups when they can just keep it simple and win the match easily? This does not just apply to only sports and games, but rather giving chances to your opponent to allow them to have a decent chance to win when you know they are "too weak" for you. Picking on people who are obviously below your level may be already considered as a cowardly approach to some. Not respecting them in the game or event, no matter how lousy they might be in the game, unless he/she shows utterly no sportsmanship at all and is really someone who deserves it, does not make you a winner. It only makes you a winner without any glory. And, a winner without glory might as well be considered a "loser". Respect begets Respect. These people definitely don't deserve respect from me.