I've been wanting to post about this quite some time ago, but I either couldn't find the time, or I just fell asleep. Then again, just two nights ago, I wanted to post about this topic, so as to cheer my grandmother on, as she valiantly fought to cling onto her life. Before I knew it, I was attending her wake yesterday.
Just a little more than a week ago, she had been admitted to the hospital AGAIN. She's really old already, and as we all know, our organs start to fail us as we grow older. Throughout my life till now, she has been admitted to the hospital numerous times. During her time in the hospital, my parents usually bring me along to visit her. Most cases of her entering the hospital wasn't very serious. Just some old ailment or a minor lack of nutrition. However, we all understand that her body is getting weaker and weaker each passing year.
As she was admitted to the hospital(the most recent one), her case wasn't serious from what we can see. Just like any other hospital visit we had, she was very much alive, able to talk and interact like usual. Before we knew it, she had to move to the Intensive Care ward. Apparently her lungs was only working 30%-40%, and though she didn't have any trouble breathing in oxygen, she was having difficulties exhaling the carbon dioxide out of her body.
The doctor advised us to let her put on the "advanced oxygen mask"(I have no idea what to call it, but it's a stronger oxygen mask than the usual one), so that she will be able to inhale oxygen efficiently as well as to stabilise her condition, preventing more carbon dioxide to be stuck in her blood. She tried putting it on, but it was really tough for her. Her heart had to stand against the high pressure the oxygen mask placed on her. The medical staff took the mask off after 2 days in which her condition stabilised, but she began panting and trying very hard to catch her breath soon after taking off the mask. So they have no choice but to continue placing the oxygen mask on her.
After another couple of days, my grandmother decided to take the oxygen mask off, regardless of the dire consequences it might've been. All her offsprings which included my dad, got together in a family conference to discuss the situation and which action to take. It was settled to grant my grandmother her wish, and hope that she can take on her failing lungs and the excessive carbon dioxide in her blood, and recover. We were all mentally prepared for the worst. That very day after she took off the mask, I went with my parents to visit her again. She was in the Intensive Care ward, and she looked all frail and tired. She didn't open her eyes till she sensed me and my parents' presence. She nodded in acknowledgement and went back to rest. Her final words are "Go Home."(she said it in Cantonese).
The following day, she slipped into coma and her chances of recovering were very slim. When I visited her again, my heart just dropped. She was fighting it all alone. I felt so useless when I realised there's no way I can help her, even just to ease her pain. Everything was dependent on her sheer willpower. Throughout all these years she had an ailing body, and she fought on, never giving up till the final moment. She even thought for us when we were deciding whether to continue to allow her to put on the mask for long-term. Between short-term pain, and long-term pain, she chose the best way for us. She chose to end everything, and rely on solely her willpower to live.
I can't describe my admiration for her endurance, her will and her selflessness. She was a doting mother and grandmother. When she's alive, she kinda likes to eat whipped potato from KFC(minus the syrup) since she is without teeth, which either me or my dad will buy for her when we visit her once a fortnight. Coincidentally, her last 'meal' was the whipped potato which my dad bought for her while she was in the hospital(before her illness became serious). How ironic... The phone rang late two nights ago, and I hoped I was wrong. Apparently, I wasn't. She left us quietly...
She was the mother of nine(my dad is the youngest child), and each of them were filial and good figures. There isn't any disputes within the family at all, and each of her children(my uncles and aunts), were wonderful siblings. I must say she had lived a blessed life. She had always been a respected figure in my heart, and she always will be my closest, cutest, best cooking, strongest-willed, and doting grandmother.
Rest In Peace, Grandma.
The following day, she slipped into coma and her chances of recovering were very slim. When I visited her again, my heart just dropped. She was fighting it all alone. I felt so useless when I realised there's no way I can help her, even just to ease her pain. Everything was dependent on her sheer willpower. Throughout all these years she had an ailing body, and she fought on, never giving up till the final moment. She even thought for us when we were deciding whether to continue to allow her to put on the mask for long-term. Between short-term pain, and long-term pain, she chose the best way for us. She chose to end everything, and rely on solely her willpower to live.
I can't describe my admiration for her endurance, her will and her selflessness. She was a doting mother and grandmother. When she's alive, she kinda likes to eat whipped potato from KFC(minus the syrup) since she is without teeth, which either me or my dad will buy for her when we visit her once a fortnight. Coincidentally, her last 'meal' was the whipped potato which my dad bought for her while she was in the hospital(before her illness became serious). How ironic... The phone rang late two nights ago, and I hoped I was wrong. Apparently, I wasn't. She left us quietly...
She was the mother of nine(my dad is the youngest child), and each of them were filial and good figures. There isn't any disputes within the family at all, and each of her children(my uncles and aunts), were wonderful siblings. I must say she had lived a blessed life. She had always been a respected figure in my heart, and she always will be my closest, cutest, best cooking, strongest-willed, and doting grandmother.
Rest In Peace, Grandma.
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