Relax (After)

What can I say? It's over. 


Well, it really IS over. More than 13 hours ago, I've finished my O's. There is nothing else I can do about it. I can only just chill and laze around, do the things I originally wanna do after the O's. Way before the O's even started, I had a lot of things in mind. I actually wanted do a lot of things after the O's. Hang out with my ex-classmates, my 'current' classmates (we already graduated from our school together but still considered as 'current'), go hardcore gaming (Not as 'hardcore' as you might think), play intensive sports over and over again like basketball and soccer and a lot more. I dunno why but ever since the O's is declared 'over' for me, I don't feel any more excited to do all these stuff I wanna do. I just don't feel the joy. 
It's supposed to be a joyous occasion, I mean, when you finally finish the examination you've been preparing for, for the past 4 years, and you should feel at least lifted from the burden of studying, if not, actually you should go all crazy. Freedom at last! Yet, I don't really feel it. Man, I still feel like I'm gonna have yet another paper tomorrow (speaking of which, good luck to those still having papers tomorrow). It feels just as though yet another burden has been put onto my shoulders.
I don't really know why... Well actually I do. I'm worrying about something else. And perhaps that 'something else' I'm worrying about, proved to be a tougher challenge and a bigger worry than the O's itself. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. Maybe it's not as tough or as big a worry like the O-Levels, but still it's quite a big cause of worry. I don't know what to do about it. I keep asking myself whether I should do this or do that, and keep answering my own questions by stating the advantages and disadvantages of this and that, then leading to a counter-argument. Confused is not the right word. It can be said that "I'm at loss at what to do". I always thought that I can relax after the O's, even if it's only for a while. Now I know that I was wrong. When can I finally relax?